Changing Old Habits

Greetings Brothers in Christ,

Divorce forces us to reflect on who we are, along with our past (and present) behaviors. There are a lot of different circumstances that lead to divorce, but if we truly look within ourselves we are sure to find things about us that we would want to change. Many of us carry bad habits that have done ourselves and others serious damage. As Dale says, we need to be determined to finish our life well. Part of that is spending time working on ourselves and cleaning our internal house. 

So what is a habit? A habit is a stable disposition to act formed through repeated, intentional action.

Sometimes habits can be very helpful. They help free up brain space so that we can concentrate on higher level activities. 

But as we all know, habits can be extremely harmful to ourselves and others. Habits actually light up the reward center of our brain - which when we are going through divorce can feel good. These are hits of dopamine and are addictive. Whether it be drugs, alcohol, over-eating, or any other illicit activity; we will sometimes turn to anything as a life raft to get us out of pain as quickly as possible. 

So what are we to do when we become aware of destructive habits in our life? The key is to focus intentionally on replacing vices with virtues. Simply stated, vices are bad habits while virtues are good habits. When a habit becomes a virtue we are able to act on it with ease, it's stable, and it brings us joy. 

You might be thinking, where do I start? For some of us, we know the answer deep down. For others, I might point you to Matthew chapters 5-7, commonly known as The Sermon on the Mount. In these chapters Jesus lays out for us a clear path to living a virtuous life. This is the great thing about the Bible, it’s simple, but not easy. 

As we enter into the new year many of us will be looking at resolutions for change. Over the next few weeks try to spend some time reflecting on what habits you want to change. How can you become a more virtuous person? How can you use the pain of your past to impact the lives of those around you? It may seem like a daunting task right now, but none of us know how much time we have on this earth. There is no better time to begin your change journey than now.

As always, feel free to reach out to Dale and I and we will do our very best to help you get on the right track. 

We are praying for you, please pray for us. 

May God Bless You and Keep You Always,

Christopher